How My Life Would Suck Without You
by wicked18writer
Summary: A conversation about secret fantasies leads to some lemon-y filled fun and minor introspection for ERIC and SOOKIE! Very racy stuff peeps, be warned. Also Sam makes guest appearance.
1. Chapter 1

**How My Life Would Suck Without You**

**Summary:** A conversation about secret fantasies leads to some lemon-y filled fun and minor introspection for ERIC and SOOKIE! 1 of 2 racy stuff peeps, be warned.

**Rating:** M for language and suggestion

**Author:** wicked18writer

**Spoilers:** I can't really tell the difference anymore b/c I've re-read the books so many times and re-watched the show so much, so to be safe, I'm posting this only in the SVM section. I'd say up to book 5 at least.

**A/N: **After doing so much humor I decided to indulge with another part of my personality.

It wasn't until I had a conversation with Eric about fantasies that I realized how much my life would suck if a certain supernatural someone wasn't in it.

The conversation with Eric had begun in the afterglow of a boisterous round of lovemaking. We were in my bed, under a single sheet due to the heat of the Louisiana summer. I was covered in sweat from the unrelenting 90-degree heat and of course, our recent activities; Eric wasn't sweaty at all, even though he did most of the work.

We were discussing how uncomfortable I would be if I were to put on a costume and act out a scenario fantasy such as the classic naughty nurse, naughty school girl, naught everything else or French maid.

I thought, "It's too hot to get all dolled up just to get stripped down again."

I could hear Eric chuckle internally as my head was lying on his chest, "Perhaps lover, but there is something very erotic about engaging in role play. I believe with your creativity and flair for the dramatic, you would enjoy it very much. In fact I believe that you would be so enamored with our games that you would not mind enduring the initial mild discomfort that our preamble would call for."

I snorted in a very lady like manner and responded, "Not freaking likely."

That time there was no internal nature to Eric's chuckles. He was out and out laughing at me…with me I suppose as I was laughing too.

Still, eventually the conversation turned to secret fantasies. Apparently my vampire had a secret desire to put on his old Viking garb and ravish me, _really, really, really old school _style. I told him to bring it up again when you couldn't fry an egg on the asphalt outside. Then Eric asked me about my secret desires. He asked me to tell him about my secret fantasies. "In as much detail as possible."

"I don't think I really have any Eric, I mean you pretty much do it all." Again, with the laughing _with_ me.

"Seriously, you've done thinks with me and to me, that I would have never thought up all by my lonesome." Eric began stroking my hair as thoroughly as I had just stroked his ego.

"Haven't you ever fantasized about having sex with another woman?"

"No."

"With me and a another woman?"

"No…not really."

"Not really? Does that mean you have fantasized about you, me, and a hermaphrodite?"

"No, Eric, I have never fantasized about a kinky ménage a trios, in any context…. except…no never mind."

"Not freaking likely." Eric threw my prior words right back at me. "Spill it Stackhouse." He commanded giving my hair a playful tug.

"No Eric, I can't it's too embarrassing. And anyway, what I was thinking of wasn't so much a fantasy as a hazy half remembered dream."

"Pam told me that Dear Abby says that being a successful couple requires one to share one's hopes and dreams with one's partner. Are they misinformed? Do lies of omission and deceit truly pave the way to harmony and happiness?"  
Damn that Dear Abby, internally I cursed her _and_ Pam for filling my Vikings head with such irrefutable logic. Eric gently poked me in my back, silently urging me to give up my secret. Which I found a little hypocritical given all the vampire secret handshake stuff I was never privy too, but he had told me one of his fantasies, even though I could have thought up the whole Viking costume thing myself.

"Okay, I'll tell you." I paused, collecting my thoughts, and preparing on how I would word it, as Eric continued to gently jab me with his pointer finger.

"I said I'd tell you, so stop poking me." I grabbed his hand in a vain attempt to stop his massive arm from its repetitive action.

"I'll stop when you get to the sexy part." Eric smiled impishly as I huffed and blew some hair off my face before getting up on my knees and straddling Eric's waist, sitting on his chest with my bare bottom. Which proverbially shut Eric up and got him to quit poking me. S_exy part achieved_, I thought to my self as I let the sheet fall away to reveal my naked breasts to Eric's gaze. Then I started talking.

"Well, the dream starts out as a very boring dream. It's a little too boring if you know what I'm saying, it's got that feel that something's gonna happen cause everything's so normal. _Too normal_. In the dream I'm just at working Merlotte's, Sam was pouring beers, I was serving them, and he was also handing me food that I should have gotten from the kitchen but, in my dream there wasn't a kitchen, just Sam, who would magically pull out French fries and burgers from the bottom of the bar in a very odd 'Ta Da' fashion. Most of the town regulars were in attendance, and I had my shields up trying to keep out the static but then all of sudden I looked out the window, which was actually not like the window at Merlotte's is was more like a porthole on a ship, you know one of those round ones" Eric nodded knowing what I meant, and urged me own by grasping my waist and tracing light patterns with his fingertips there.

"And anyway, I watched sun go down so fast it was like someone hit the fast forward button on time and then I looked back at where all my customers should have been but they were gone. And then you were there. You walked in through the front door of Merlotte's with such ferocity that the door slammed into the wall and cracked it. And then you came up to me using your vampire speed and got very close to me, as close as you could get to me without touching me and you looked down at me, right in my eyes and I looked up at you, not in the eyes but at your fangs which were out." Eric clicked down his fangs and sat up, shifting me a little down in his lap, but still refraining from actual sexual contact, even though I could tell he was ready to go another round.

"And then we were kissing. And it was mind-blowing like it always is," Eric then grabbed me a little roughly and kissed me more than adequately, his tongue ran over my tongue chasing it all around my mouth.

As we separated I gasped out, "Yeah, just like that." I was panting a little from lack of air, Eric wasn't. As I tried to catch my breath, he just smiled that devious fang filled smile of his. Waiting somewhat impatiently, Eric quietly tapped my hips in succession as someone does to a tabletop to show that they are bored. He was obviously ready for the next verse in my epic tale.

"Um…" I shook my head a bit, "Yeah, we kissed and it like in the movies where the music plays and the camera spins around us making us look extra romantical. And then you were backing me up against the bar, only we were still kissing and I couldn't see it, so I only knew it was the bar cause when my back hit it I heard the cash register cha-ching and open up like we did a Fonzi magic touch thing." Eric switched up the path of his fingers from my hips to up my back, causing me to arch up a little as his own unique magic touch gave me goose bumps. This inadvertently thrust my breast into his face, and I saw Eric's head dip down for one second and his mouth open slightly, but then he snapped his head back up restraining himself from taking my breast into his mouth as I knew he wanted to. He forced his eyes back up to mine. I was enjoying just how captive my audience was, so I continued with my story and said nothing of his almost lack of control.

"So, the cash register opens and I know we've hit the bar and I tell you 'up' and I mean up on the bar so we can lie down and have sex on the bar, but you surprise me and as I jump up and wrap my legs around your waist, you float us up in the air. You rip my shorts in half and my shirt and bra magically disappear, as they tend to do in dreams. And your clothes disappear too, and then you're inside me." Eric abruptly pushes himself inside me. So unexpectedly that I let out a gasp.  
"Keep going." Eric urges so quietly I scarcely heard him.

"That's what she said." I said, ruining the moment inadvertently confusing Eric prompting him to ask, "What?"

"Never mind I couldn't resist." I smile and quickly peck Eric on the lips before Eric seem to catch on that I had made a joke.

"I think that's my line." Eric said as he pulled out and thrust back in. I laughed and then moaned as Eric took another languid stroke inside me. A stroke that told me, he had all the time in the world, even though it was about a half an hour before sunrise. I stared at him in the eyes as he stilled. A little slow on the up take as to why he had stopped moving, I rocked my hips forward trying to urge him on.

"Keep talking Sookie. Keep talking and I'll keep…I want to say fucking you but it sounds so barbaric for what I want."

"I don't wanna keep talking Eric," I gave another thrust of my hips to show him I meant business.

"Keep talking and we will make love like a pot on the oven beginning at a slow simmer only to erupt in an explosion of boiling water." Ugh I grunted, he was so sexy with everything about him, even the words he used. He should be the one who kept talking.

"We're in Merlotte's, everyone's gone, we're in the air, I'm in you…" Eric prompted, recapping where I left off. I smirked as I pulled the metaphorical ace out of my sleeve.

"I didn't say everyone was gone, I said the customer's disappeared." That got a shocked look. So I thrust hard with my hips, as I had talked, Eric thrust back as promised.

"Who else is with us lover?"

"Don't skip ahead," I chastised him, "who's impatient now?" He laughed and pulled out of me and then trust back in, which I found impressive as he was literally picking me up and moving _me_ onto _him_ as we were still facing each other sitting up, chests touching, my legs wrapped around his back.

"Yes, back Merlotte's. We're in the air and your inside me and your thrusting in and out and we're gradual floating upwards as you keep up the rhythm, in and out, in and out, at a hair pulling, agonizingly slow rate." Too my great surprise we actually began to float above my bed as Eric thrust in and out of me.

"And we float higher and higher, literally and sexually metaphorically speaking. Then we hi—well, you hit the ceiling, and then you plaster me to it, literally defying gravity keeping my back to the ceiling by the force of your thrusts supporting my lower half and your mouth on my breast supporting the upper half of my body." And I'll be damned if Eric wasn't reenacting my story to the letter. And god, it felt more amazing than I could have ever imagined in any half-baked dream.

"You pound into me like a jack hammer, just hard and fast but your mouth on my breast in contrast is so soft and loving and gentle and careful and you tear me apart from the inside with all these feelings. GOD Eric god that feels so good oh god. I don't I can't, I don't remember, oh I um. We do it on the ceiling and then we, just ughuh, I can't think straight Eric." I don't know how but Eric exerts some sort of vampire strength level of self-control and stops mid-heart stopping thrust to lick his way up from my breasts up my neck across my jaw to my ear and whisper, "Finish your story lover, so we can finish together."

I nearly came on the spot, but words for me weren't going to cut it I wanted him to do his big finish and if all I had to do was tell him how I wanted, hell, it wasn't that much of a hardship.

I looked him right in the eye, my peripheral vision catching the sight of what my room looks like from the odd vantage point of my ceiling caused my to smirk as I spoke, "You bit me, sucked me and then fucked me to the ceiling until I came. And then you flipped us around and flew us down to the floor so hard that it creaked under our weight and then with the dirty floor of Merlotte's at my back you fucked me harder until we both came again. Twice." Eric bit my neck and resumed his former jackhammer like pace. Thrusting in and out of me, rubbing my clit by changing the angle of each thrust, whilst drawing blood from my neck. And then I was digging my nails into his back as I was rocked by my orgasm and before I even knew what happened I was on my floor, and Eric was slipping my legs onto his shoulders. Thrusting into me even harder now that he wasn't working against gravity and had some leverage to work with.

I watched Eric's face fascinated by the feelings of intense pride, arousal, and satisfaction that we're coming across the bond. Our eyes were locked and he was smiling and I just know I had a dumb giant goofy grin on my face. Cause Eric was my real life dream man.

Eric bit his wrist just a little and offered it to me and I didn't refuse. As soon as I started to suck on his bloody wound I felt his fangs pierce my inner thigh. (No where near my femoral artery) which I never admitted had been a concern of mine since that first conversation with Bill in the parking lot of Merlotte's. But, that was just a fleeting thought in a sea of 'oh gods' and 'yes's' and 'Eric's', because then Eric and I were coming together, physically, metaphorically, and sexually. In one giant kick ass super fly bond enhanced dual orgasm-y experience of awesome-ness.

After Eric deposited me back in bed and effectively tucked me, as time really had flown by us while we we're having sex. I couldn't help the thought that had me thinking Eric tricked me yet again, because after that performance, I was so on board with the fantasy fulfillment plan. I was even planning to get some costume's over the internet, and just damn the heat! I was thinking over my options when Eric's voice grabbed my attention as he swiftly got dressed to go hide in the hidey-hole.

"Lover, you mentioned all the customer's were gone, but that we were not alone. What did you mean by that?" Eric slipped his shirt back on.

"What? Oh yeah, my dream ended kinda weird cause when we got done having sex on the floor we stood up and we were magically half dressed, I had my Merlotte's shirt back on and my apron but not my shorts or my underwear on, you had your shirt on, but no pants. We both had our shoes and socks too. And we were kissing again then we hear the unmistakable sound of a man reaching his climax, you know groaning and fisting himself and what not. So, we turn to look behind the bar and who should it be, but…" I glance out my window to see the morning light peaking over the horizon.

"Go to bed Eric, it's too early for you to be awake still. I'll tell you the end tomorrow night."

"Just tell me Sookie." I smile, he's like a kid trying to stay up way past his bed time. He was almost swaying on his feet in exhaustion and rubbing at his eyes. So I just rolled over so he would be facing my back and urged him back to bed, reminding him that, "The suspense won't kill you Eric, I'll see at sunset."  
As Eric grumbled to himself and walked across the hall to the closet where his resting place lay I could hear him mumble "Hard-hearted harpy" and then I was claimed by sleep and heard no more.

A/N: I think this is only going to be 2 chapters long, I'm almost done with the second chapter and you can expect an update soon. OF COURSE THE FASTER YOU REVIEW, the faster I post. SO REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!

Also, any guess who the mystery voyeur is?


	2. Chapter 2

**How My Life Would Suck Without You**

**Summary:** A conversation about secret fantasies leads to some lemon-y filled fun and minor introspection for ERIC and SOOKIE! Very racy stuff peeps, be warned. Also Sam makes guest appearance.

**Rating:** M for language and suggestion

**Author:** wicked18writer

**Spoilers:** I can't really tell the difference anymore b/c I've re-read the books so many times and re-watched the show so much, so to be safe, I'm posting this only in the SVM section. I'd say up to book 5 at least.

**A/N: **After doing so much humor I decided to indulge with another part of my personality. The Sexy part.

Sam noticed first, then Tara, then Terry, then everyone who walked into Merlotte's that afternoon. They noticed that I had a permanent blush on my face and that whenever I get close to the bar, I started stuttering and tripping all over my self.

My bumbling eventually got so bad that Sam had Terry cover the bar while we went into his office so he could question me on what was wrong with me. "Chere, what is wrong with you today?" Were his exact words.

I just blushed more, if that were possible, and stuttered out a quiet, "Nothin' Sam."

"Bullshit Sookie, tell me what's up with you right now." I just kept looking down and scuffing my shoe in a small circle. I could feel Sam getting frustrated.

"Look at me Sookie." Sam grabbed my jaw gently bringing my gaze up from the floor and level with his eyes. I quickly twisted out of his grip and turned to go to the door intent on fleeing the awkward scene all together, but Sam just pushed the door closed and kept his arm there. Leaving me only one escape route, which I had every intention of using until Sam put his other arm up trapping my body between his and the door.

"Eeep." The involuntary sound escaped my lips before I could stop it.

"Sookie, turn around and talk to me." I would not turn around; I just kept quiet and facing the door. Sam could not make me tell him about the imaginative sexcapades Eric and I had engaged in last night. No matter how good a friend Sam was, he would not appreciate my dilemma nor show me any mercy.

"Sook." Sam sounded sad and defeated now, which made me feel guilty.

"I can't talk about it with you Sam, its personal. Like, very, very, intimately personal." I could feel Sam's stare on the back of my head.

"Is this like a sex thing? Did you and Eric come here and have sex last night?" He sounded disgusted but I could feel his mood shift form frustration and anger and helplessness to lust so fast that it almost gave me whiplash.

God I didn't want to admit what happened but I couldn't let Sam go on thinking Eric and I had actually _come_ to Merlotte's just to have some kinky adventurous sex. "No, we didn't come here…exactly." I sorta mumbled the last part, but damn Sam's shifter hearing.

"What do mean _you didn't come here exactly_?" I felt a little weird talking to the door at this point so I turned and faced Sam. Which I instantly regretted because he had those intense wild eyes, that reminded me that it was the night of a full moon tonight. Crap.

"I…I, you, do you…" Sam didn't say anything or give me any kind of encouragement; I could feel his lust mixing with anger as I searched for a delicate way to explain why I was acting like a complete spaz.

"Did you ever have a, have a really, really, vivid fantasy about having sex in a some what unconventional place?" I could feel the heat just burning my face and neck; I was blushing so hard I probably looked like a tomato.

I watched as Sam licked his lips and sort of smirked and looked down my body real quick before looking me back in my eyes. "You had a fantasy about having sex at Merlotte's?"

"Actually it was a dream but now whenever I see the bar-"  
"In your dream you had sex on top of my bar?" I gulped as Sam bent his head and reverently inhaled my scent.

"Yeah, and last night Eric and I were talking about fantasies, I told him I didn't have any, and he said I couldn't not have a fantasy, so I told him about my dream as way to appease him." Mentioning Eric was like the equivalent of hitting Sam with a 2x4. He instantly put his arms down and retreated back two steps.

"So you told Eric that your fantasy was to have sex in Merlotte's on top of my bar because you had a dream about it?" Sam thankfully sounded amused and less lusty.

"Um. Not exactly, but for the intents and purposes of this discussion, yes. I'm gonna go now." As I tried to escape, Sam quickly caged me again, but this time he only used one arm and now leaned his whole body against the door.

"Uh huh chere, now I'm intrigued."

"Come on Sam, we shouldn't leave Terry and Holly out there by themselves." I tried to reason with my friend but he just shook his head.

"Nah, it's okay, it's pretty dead out there, and besides chere taking impromptu breaks is one of the perks of being the boss. And I really wanna know about your dream that doesn't _exactly_ involve having sex on my bar."  
I blushed so more before copying Sam's pose and leaning against the door facing my smiling boss as he stared at me just like Eric did last night as he awaited to here the epic tale of Sookie's sex dream.

"IF I really didn't wanna tell you, you'd let me leave right?" Sam rolled his eyes at me.

"Course, but that question implies that you might _want _to tell me."  
"I don't _want_ to tell you a damn thing Sam Merlotte, but I get the distinct impression that if I don't tell you, I certain Viking will, cause, it sort of, um, involves you." Sam's eyes bugged out of his head and he cleared his throat before he pushed off the door and waked to the center of the room, facing away from me. I could feel the mix of emotions overwhelm him, hope, lust, surprise, suspicion, love, amusement.

"I was in your sex dream?" He asked as he fell into his creaky old chair and folded his arms.

"Yeah." Silence…awkward silence.

"Was I…were we…was I a participating partner?" I couldn't help but smile at the cute way Sam shifted in his seat, as he grew more anxious to know my answer.

"In a way." I walked over to Sam's desk and perched on the edge, Sam turned in the chair following my movement until we were once again facing each other.

"Go on." And so in an act of complete giddiness and probably stupidity, I told Sam all about my dream and his surprise appearance at the end. When I was done, Sam was speechless, horny, and in need of some alone time in the bathroom.

"Wow, I don't feel so embarrassed anymore. Thanks for the talk Sam, I'm gonna get back out there. I'll tell Terry you'll be out in 5, so you can you know, go…you know." I motioned down to his crotch before getting up and heading for the door.

"Hey Sookie," I turned to see Sam still facing where I was sitting, "Tell Terry I'll need at least another 15 minutes."

I laughed and saluted, though he couldn't see the gesture, "Aye aye captain."

When I got home from work around ten p.m. I was disappointed to find my house sans Viking. As I headed into my room, I took my ponytail out and shook my hair free. On my bed I found a note from Eric.

Dearest Sookie,

I have some work that needs to be done at Fangtasia, but don't despair dear one, I will be back around two a.m. so we can reach the climax of your scandalous tale of sex in the blue-collar establishment.

-E

Disappointed that Eric was to be gone so long, tired from being on my feet for most of the day, and sore from everything I did with Eric last night, I laid down on my bed. I only had the energy to kick off my shoes before I fell fast asleep, with Eric's note still clutched in my hand.

To my happy shock and awe, I awoke to the sensation of someone massaging my foot. "Oh god, how my life would suck without you."

He didn't respond just switched feet and kept up his massage assault until I was moaning out loud. I didn't have the energy to look down let alone pull Eric up to my mouth and kiss him. So I just lay there enjoying being pampered a little.

Eric was working his way up my calf now, kissing my knees. Rubbing the outside of my thighs. Wait—"Did you undress me?"

Eric didn't reply, again, but he did kiss me right above my clitoris before plunging two fingers inside me. "Oh. Oh. I just love your ninja undressing powers of stealth."

I could feel him chuckling as he kissed my stomach. His fingers were setting a slow rhythm, in and out, but he was avoiding touching me in my most sensitive place, because Eric's a bastard like that sometimes.

I could feel his other hand snake up to my breast and begin to nonchalantly twist my nipple. While he moved his mouth over the other breast, taking my nipple lightly in between his teeth. "Oh Eric." I moaned out.

Eric stopped the fingers moving inside me. Stopped twisting my nipple in between his fingers. And stopped teasing my other nipple with his mouth. "What the hell are you stopping for?" I exclaimed shrilly, looking down at him for the first time.

I was hit with a massive amount of pleasure as Eric surprisingly thrust the entirety of his gracious plenty completely inside of me. "Just wanted to reward for finally allowing my name to escape that exquisite mouth of yours."

And then he was kissing me and his hands were on my breast again, fondling me in the most impressive way. And his hips, oh god, those hips were just plunging in and out so freaking deep inside every time, it was a miracle I didn't pass out from how good it all felt. As I moaned Eric took the opportunity attack my neck, sucking and nibbling on the skin there. Not yet drawing blood, but driving me crazy has he traced patterns with his tongue on my pulse point.

I wrapped my legs around his hips, "Eric."

I moved my hands to his face, cupping his chin; I looked into his beautiful blue eyes and leaned in to kiss him. The way he made me feel, I pushed all of that through the bond, hoping he could feel it too.

As we were kissing, Eric sped up the rhythm of his hips and threaded on hand into my hair. Whilst his other hand slid down my body slowly, he started by just resting his enormous hand on my throat, then he cupped my shoulder, then he used one finger to slide down my clavicle and circle around my left breast before cupping the entire thing and giving the mound of flesh good ole grope. His exploratory appendage then continued down my stomach, sliding his hand to my hip where he left it there to allow him to change the angle of his thrusting hips so that each incredible impalement rubbed against my clit. But that only lasted for a few thrusts, and then his hand was on the move again. He slowly slid down and raked his fingers lightly through the hair above where we were joined before he started rubbing my clit. Again, it his antsy hand only rubbed me for a minute before moving along. I was mewling like angry cat in protest but couldn't seem to say any words let alone formulate an argument. His hand just traveled the down the length of my thigh, to the knee. There, his hand grabbed the back of my knee and lifted me, this time when he changed the angle he seemed to be able to go deeper inside of me. This time when I felt his hand begin to move down from my knee, I reached down with my own hand and covered his, keeping it behind my knee before finally finding my voice again, "If you move your fucking hand again Viking, I'm going to kick you ass."

Not a lot of people know this, but Eric has a big rowdy laugh, especially in bed. "I doubt you'd be so cruel as to injure the very part of me that you love the most my dear Sookie."

This prompted me to grip those two glorious globes with both my hands. Pulling him inside me with more force as his other hand slid down my body at a much quicker, only to end up behind my knee. "Yeah, I love your butt Eric."

I laughed as Eric just smiled at me before leaning down to capture my lips again. Eric then kissed his way along my jaw to my ear lobe where he bit a little harder than lightly, but still without fang. "Eric, I needed to come now. No more teasing."

Eric's only response was to move his lips down towards my neck and gently nip at the skin there before pulling his cock out of me. I was about to argue again but then he gripped my hips, and flipped me over so I was on my knees, my hands shot out automatically to support my weight as Eric drove his cock back inside my now dripping center.

As he started to piston his hips in and out of me at vampire-ic speed he used his long arms to reach around me and stimulate my clit, but in contrast to the intensity with which he moved his hips, he only made slow circles with his hand.

"Sookie-" Eric would have panted had he needed the air.

"Fuck, Eric." And then I was done for it. My orgasm shook me so hard I bit my lip until I tasted blood. In fact I bet it was the smell of that blood that prompted Eric to reach around me to grab my breasts and use that leverage to get me off my hands. By forcing me to kneel on my knees, my back to his front he had easy access to my neck and when he bit down I could feel his cold seed explode out of him.

As soon as I was almost down from my orgasmic high I could feel Eric pushing his own pleasure through the bond. Which caused me to get worked up again. As Eric pulled out of me and fell down to the bed I straddled him much like I had the previous night. Bare bottom right above his gracious plenty.

I leaned down to kiss me, taking special care to tongue his fangs, allowing him to suck a little more blood out of my wounded lip before he spread that healing saliva over it. And then I collapsed on top of him, letting my body rest on his non-moving chest and letting my head fall next to his, but facing away from him. As I panted for breath, Eric stroked my hair. I stared out at my window at the full moon. I could hear the hoot of an owl that must have been on a near by tree branch, I could hear the chirp chirp of the crickets, I could hear the pounding of my heart and the silence of the dead one in Eric's chest…I bet Eric could hear all the were's and shifters out there howling away, caught up in their own brand of lunacy.

Eric finally broke the peaceful silence and asked, "Shall I carry you to the shower?"

I just nodded and allowed Eric to sweep me up in his arms bridal style and carry me to the tub, where he proceeded to tilt me down so that I could turn on the water without him having to put me down. Then he stepped under the warm spray of water and finally let me down onto my own feet, though he kept a firm hand around my waist. Which turned out was smart because as soon as I tried to stand on my own, my legs buckled beneath me.

"Holy crap, I literally can't feel my legs." We laughed together as Eric continued to support me, just standing us up under the gentle faux rainfall.

Once I felt strong enough to stand I turned in Eric's arm and asked, "Wash my hair?"

"If you'll tell me who you dreamed of the watching us, masturbating as we made love on the ceiling and floor of the shifters establishment. You do after all lover, owe me an ending." I glanced over my shoulder to look at Eric in the eyes before nodding. No doubt smiling the most goofy smile known to a licensed property of the Disney corporation.

"I have thought about this much since I awakened, but once I saw your disheveled and lovely body splayed out on your bed, my note clutched so tightly in your hand I couldn't resist your allure for another moment and I allowed my curiosity to take the back seat. But, now I do wish for this fantasy mystery voyeur's identity to be reveled, but I do think it would be more fun to see your reactions if I guess first." Eric started to work the shampoo in my hair into lather, massaging my scalp. I gave a sweeping gesture with my hand; he got the 'be my guest' message I was trying to convey.

"First we start with the highly improbable yet still in the realm of possibility guess: Bill." I shook my head 'no'.

"Now for the other implausibly plausible guess of your former bed mates: the weretiger?" I allowed some water to fall into my mouth, puffing up my cheeks before turning to face Eric and spit it out in his face is a cool fountain like stream, before mouthed 'no' and smiling impishly. Blindly I grabbed my conditioner and handed it to my stunned Viking.

"Keep washing…" I turned so he could again lather my hair with those sensual hands of his.

"Tell me its not Herveaux. I can't stand that little man. He is a serious asshole." I turned around to face Eric, and playfully slapped him on the chest.

"He's not that bad Eric, don't be mean. And no it wasn't Alcide." I turned around and Eric continued to wash me as he spouted off guess's that grew more outrageous as time worn on.

"Sheriff Dearborn?"

"God no!"

"That mentally defective man, Bellfleur something? Not the cop, the other one."  
"Not Terry."  
"What about that other telepath? Barry the Bellhop?"

"Nuh uh." Then Eric started in with celebrity guesses.

"Bill Clinton?"

"Jon Stewart?"

"Rip Taylor?"

"Patrick Stewart?" And then I could hardly breath I was laughing so hard. I ran out of the shower grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me before falling onto the bed in a fit of giggles. Eric followed my actions, sans-towel.

"Tell me dear one," Eric jumped on the bed but then grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head, "was it William Shatner who masturbated to the incredibly erotic site of us having sex?"

I was laughing so hard I could even shake my head no. And Eric was laughing with me and then he was falling onto the bed stretching out and laying down. I crawled up his body until my head could rest on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled my body into his.

When I could talk again, I asked, "Would you like to keep guessing who it was or do you want me to tell you."

Eric leaned down and kissed the end of my nose, "Lover, I know it was the shifter Sam Merlotte, he is the most obvious choice and the most desirable suitor for your affection, discounting me of course."

This was news to me, "What makes Sam the most obvious and most desirable suitor for me, discounting you_ of course_?"

Eric began to rub my back as he spoke, "Well, and remember, I'm taking myself out of the equation, your relationship with the shifter is the most healthy and stable relationship you've ever had. He is always willing to help you should the need arise, during the daylight or at night even though he knows that you are mine and I should be able to attended any and all of your nighttime needs. He is an honest man. A loyal one, though I wonder if that attribute is not derived from his canine tendencies. None the less, he is brave and generous and-"

"I'm sorry Eric, the way you talk about Sam sounds like _you_ like him." Eric stopped rubbing my back and looked down into my eyes.

"Sam Merlotte is a _relatively _good man, and he could give you a life in the sun where as I could not." When Eric said that, my heart sank cause it's true and we all know it. I could have a life with Sam. A great life. A life that is normal, and filled with children, and big holiday dinners, and life long love that lasts until we're old farts.

Eric looked me in the eyes, sadness pouring across the bond and told me, "Sam is the better choice in many respects. He-"

I cut him off right there, pressing my fingers across his lips silencing his awful truthful words. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want him to think about it, I didn't want to think about it because; it would never come to be.

"Sam isn't a threat to you." Eric balked and I laughed. Apparently losing me to Sam wasn't some deep seeded fear of Eric's, but still it seemed like it concerned him.

"Of course not" Eric replied, "he's barely even out of his diapers compared to me, I could kill him in a second."

I shook my head, unable to stop myself from picturing myself in old lady diapers and Sam in a baby diaper with one of those frilly bonnets on whilst shaking a rattle and sucking on a bottle. "You know what I mean, he's not a romantic rival Eric. I've chosen you, and you chose me back. I'm with you. I'd never betray you."

It was in that moment I felt it, that overwhelming feeling of pure…not love exactly, more like admiration mixed with adoration. It came from Eric in waves. "I know you would never betray me Sookie. You are far too loyal a person to ever do something so unseemly. You are a golden ray of sunshine in world filled to the brim with shit."

I laughed at his un-poetic description, knowing what he really meant. "I mean it lover, you shine, and you try to be good. Do you know how many people have given up on trying? Trying to be generous or kind or thoughtful or polite? Do you know how far humanity has declined in its ability to act altruistically? I do, I watched it happen! But, you, you try to be-better. Better than what you are, you defy your selfishness, you submerge your feelings of spite, you rise above your imperfections to try to be better."

"Eric you make me sound like a saint."  
"Not a saint, just the best example of a human that humanity has to offer."

And he meant that, he thought I was better than most if not all humans. This was a sentiment, which I was flattered by, but frankly didn't agree with. It made me smile to think that Eric thought I was the best of the best. "You know the shifter will always think of you as the one that got away."

"Yes, and I guess for me Sam will always be the road not taken." I sighed.

"Well lover, not exactly…."

"What do you mean _not exactly_?" I had a bad feeling that Eric had been very naughty, and not in the fun way.

"Well, lover once I deduced, far too easily I might add, who your mystery dream voyeur was, I went to the shifter and asked if he noticed any changes in your behavior at work that day. He told me how you told him the whole story." My eyes must have been as big as saucers with the way they bugged out of my head.

"Don't be mad lover, I didn't go to gloat, in fact I found the shifter in such a state of pitiful misery, that I invited him to come watch us make love tonight." I quickly grabbed my sheet and held it up against my body. My eyes immediately falling on the closet door and the door to the hall, I have expected Sam to walk in and demand a show. Eric must have noticed my paranoia because he flipped me onto my back and covered my body with his.

As he loomed over me he seemed to be tracing every feature on my face with his eyes, "It's a full moon lover, and on such a night a shifter must shift remember?"

Eric looked at me, waiting for me to catch on, to what I didn't know…until I looked over at my window.

"The owl? Sam was the owl? SAM WATCHED US HAVE SEX AS A FUCKING OWL IN A TREE?" And then Eric swooped down and swallowed my rage and my tongue and kissed me until I was breathless.

"He's come and gone lover. No need to fret, it's just us now." I could feel Eric pushing calm and comfort through the bond and decided right then and there that we had up until that point had such a nice night that I might as well just allow his influence to wash over me.

Eric then tucked me in for bed. As I was falling asleep I could swear I heard the hooting of an owl. I didn't know how I would face Sam again, but I would bet the next time I would be wearing a full body blush as red as a cartoon Satan's butt.

I didn't know if Eric was planning to stay the night or just go into down time for a while but I was too tired to care either way. All I cared about was that Eric, for the time being was lying down in bed with me.

Before I was totally dead to the world I heard Eric whisper, "Sleep well dear one and dream of me."

The End. 

A/N= **Thnx for the people who made this their favorite and author alerted but most of all who REVIEWED! **I LOVE REVIEWS!

_Also, this was supposed to be a lot more angst-y, but apparently I'm too happy a person too let brooding ruin the Viking's delicious plans. _

_Hope you don't mind Sam popping in to see how our favorite couple gets it on. Boom shika wa wah style._

**Also A/N: I****f you're the kind of reader who reviews, review me. If you're the kind of reader who just reads and doesn't review, telepathically send me a message telling me what you think of the story…and if your not telepathic you know the whole review button works too.**


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